


Shizaya and the Seven Witches

by cmpeabooty



Series: Raijin Shenanigans [6]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Crossover, M/M, Raijin Days, Yamada & the Seven Witches, body switching, for fun, izaya has a MASSIVE crush on shizuo, we been knew, why am i like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-07 21:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20982308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmpeabooty/pseuds/cmpeabooty
Summary: Yamada & the Seven Witches, but it’s shizaya, lmao you get the idea





	1. Chapter 1

All Shizuo wanted was a quiet, peaceful life. He wanted to kick back, and coast through high school. 

Izaya Orihara changed those plans, dubbing Shizuo the Monster of Raijin. Just great. 

Shizuo is skipping class today, simply because he doesn’t want to run into the flea just yet. 

The only issue? The flea is right in front of him, walking up a set of stairs, carrying a stack of papers and files up to his chin. 

Shizuo decides to be petty, and he rushes up the stairs, roughly bumping into Izaya. 

Of course, Izaya drops some of the papers, but as Shizuo turns around to sneer at him, Izaya shoots the nastiest glare that Shizuo has ever seen. It surprises him enough, that he misses the next step, and loses his footing, falling backward into Izaya and his papers. 

Groaning a bit, Shizuo wakes up in the nurse’s office, with a blinding headache. He goes to rub his eyes, when he notices some thing is off.

For one thing, his hands are way too small, and they’re covered in scars from what look like cat scratches? There’s a few newer scratches that pull on the skin.

Also, he’s not wearing the blue Raijin uniform. Instead, he’s wearing all black, with a red shirt...

Oh, shit.

“No, nonono, this cant be real, I must be asleep,” Shizuo mumbles to himself.

The nurse perks up, hearing the noise “Oh! Welcome back to the waking world, _Orihara-kun_! Don’t worry, you didn’t get hurt too bad, just a slight concussion.”

_Shiiiiiiit... Even the nurse...?_

Yes, Shizuo’s waking nightmare was, in fact, true: he had switched bodies with Izaya Orihara, Bastard Flea, and Bane of Shizuo’s Existence. 

“Ah, thanks...” he quickly thanks the nurse for her trouble, and bolts out of her office. He needs to find Izaya. Who knows what that shit is up to, using Shizuo’s body?!

He darts to their classroom (wow Izaya really is fast) and freezes in the doorway. 

He sees -himself- sweet-talking a few of the girls?!

“Oh hell no, you’re coming with me now!” Running in, Shizuo grabs his own fucking arm (this is way too weird) and tugs Izaya to come with him. 

Theoretically, Izaya could’ve put up a fight, he has Shizuo’s monster body, after all. But he goes with easily. Shizuo guesses he’s just as freaked out, but won’t show it. 

He pulls them into an empty bathroom, locking the door behind them. 

“Okay, flea. Talk. The fuck did you do?”

Izaya blinks at him, before bursting with laughter, loudly echoing in the bathroom. “What makes you think I had anything to do with this? What makes you think I _want_ to be in your beastly body?” 

He’s smirking at Shizuo and, no, Shizuo does not find it attractive. (How weird do you have to be to find yourself hot?!)

“Then what the fuck happened?”

Izaya shrugs, “How should I know? I woke up same as you.”

His usual snarky tone sounds just awful coming from Shizuo’s mouth. 

“Well how do we change it, cause I am not walking around as a little flea forever.”

Rolling his eyes, “Easy. I already figured it out. Come to the same staircase after school.” And with that, Izaya leaves. 

They’re standing side-by-side at the top of the steps they fell down, earlier that same day. 

Interesting as it is, Izaya can not wait to switch back. Being Shizuo is too weird. Besides, who knows what Shizuo feels inside Izaya’s body?

“Alright. Ready?”

“Whenever you are.”

“Okay.”

“...”

“On three?”

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

They flung themselves down the stairs again, and again, but it never worked. All they got for their hard work were bruises. 

Sighing, Izaya sits back. He _really_ didn’t want things to come to this. 

“What the fuck! I cant stay a fucking flea forever!”

Izaya represses the urge to roll his eyes, and sighs again. “I think there is one other thing we can try.”

“Oh, what, do a backflip off the fucking stairs?! No! I’m done!”

“Shut up, Shizu-chan! I mean... well... we could kiss.” God, he hopes his face isn’t red. 

Shizuo splutters, “W-wha-what?! But-“

“Listen! When we fell, we- kinda sorta... kissed. On accident.” Yep. His face is definitely flaming. 

“I- wait, hold on a second-“

Izaya gives him no time for protest, grabbing his jaw and planting a kiss on his mouth. It’s weird, kissing yourself. 

He holds it for a few seconds, ignoring how nice it is, before he is let go. 

Gasping, he sees only Shizuo’s tomato-red face staring back at him. “Hah! See, it worked!” He gives his trademark smirk to distract Shizuo from his own reddening cheeks. 

Shizuo sighs in relief, “Oh my god, thank the gods...”

“I guess I get a free pass for today, then?” Izaya has _got_ to get out of here before Shizuo decides to take his anger out on him. 

“Heh, yeah whatever flea.”

And with that, Izaya scurries off, to scream about that kiss in private. 


	2. lol

Shizuo is staring at himself again. Why? Because Izaya decided he wanted to “test out” this creepy power. 

“Haha! Wow, it barely weighs a thing!” Izaya is currently lifting a goal post and twirling it around. Shizuo wishes he’d stop giggling. 

He turned bright red (again) when Izaya kissed him. He’s never been kissed before this! And the flea is so cool and calm about it?!

Maybe those rumors are true. That the flea is... good with his mouth, to put it lightly. 

“Yo! Heiwajima! You’ve got a make-up test in ten minutes!” A fellow student calls out from a distance. 

Ah, shit! He totally forgot! Is there enough time to switch back? 

Shizuo is so caught up in his anxious thoughts, that he barely notices Izaya passing him and taking his body, back inside. 

“Wait-“

“Dont worry about it, I’ll be back later.”

What? Izaya is- taking his test? Dammit, the flea is probably gonna fail it on purpose. 

But Shizuo is too late, and Izaya is too far, so he’ll just have to suck it up. It’s not like his other grades are particularly stellar. 

He wanders the school, still as Izaya, looking for somewhere quiet to sit. 

He finds a window, with a sill large enough for Izaya’s skinny ass to fit on. Damn has the flea always been this tiny?

Shizuo is so spaced out, that he doesn’t notice he’s surrounded by other students until they’re just inches away. 

“What?”

“I was wondering where you were hiding, Orihara. You skipped out on us the past couple days, what’s that about, huh?”

The group of five students all have the stereotypical delinquent attitudes going on, and it’s pissing Shizuo off. 

“Fuck off, you’re annoying.”

“The hell?! What’d you just say to me, Orihara?! I don’t fucking think so!”

Oh, shit. Shizuo forgot he was still Izaya. 

Still, Izaya is no pushover, so Shizuo puts on his best assholish voice and fires back “Oh? And what could you do about it?”

He sees a vein pop in this kids head, and Shizuo wonders if that’s how he looks when he gets pissed off. 

Shizuo turns his head to ignore them, but the leader grabs him and yanks him up by his upper arm. 

Shit, the flea is weak as hell when he’s not running all over the place. 

“HEY!”

Shizuo has mentally prepared for an unfair fight, when a shout and crash interrupts. 

He sees Izaya, in his body, charging over, grabbing one of the other kids and throwing him down the hall. 

The others quickly scatter, but not without a punch or two. 

Then, he whirls on Shizuo, grabbing him by the front of his shirt. “And you! Stay the fuck out of my business!”

Shizuo feels a flicker of fear run through him. To see his own face twisted in anger, is terrifying, to say the least. 

Izaya shoves him back into the wall (not quite making a dent), and crouches down on the floor, a few feet away. His body is trembling. 

Shizuo stays quiet. He’s not trying to mess with a pissy flea that has his strength. 

“...Is it always like this?” Izaya’s muffled voice breaks the silence. He has his head in his hands, one leg bouncing with suppressed violent energy. 

Shizuo sighs, “Pretty much.” He could tell something was off; he wasn’t getting angry like he normally would. Not when he’s in Izaya’s body. Shizuo’s not entirely sure what he _is_ feeling, himself, but it’s clear that the flea is having a hard time managing Shizuo’s temper. 

“I think... that our bodies maintain some of our original attributes, cause I really want to punch you in the fact right now, but that’s my face...”

Shizuo nods along in silence. He quietly hopes that all Izaya notices is anger and irritation, and nothing else. 

“So, with that said,” Izaya moves forward, yanking Shizuo’s collar again (far too quickly) and he brings their lips together. 

Shizuo pointedly ignores the spark that surges through his body. 

“Well, well! And what do we have here?”


	3. heiwajima rights

“Well, well! And what do we have here?”

They spring apart like two teenagers caught making out... which is exactly what they were. 

Shinra. It’s Shinra. _Of course_ it is! Because who else is going to find out about this, but Shinra?! 

“Ah, shit.” Izaya looks over to see Shizuo furiously wiping at his mouth, his face a lovely shade of red. 

But Izaya can feel how hot his own cheeks are, so can he really talk?

“Listen, Shinra. It’s not whatever pervy thing you’re thinking of.”

Shinra just smirks back at Izaya, who glares. 

Of _all_ the people to find out! It’s Shinra! The only one who knows Izaya’s little secret. The only one who figured it out. 

And he’s about to ruin Izaya’s life, he just knows it. 

Shinra, with a manic look in his eyes, is opening his mouth to speak (and probably destroy Izaya’s pride), but Shizuo beats him to it. 

“Ahhh, look, Shinra. We all know about Celty, yeah? Then this should be easy for you to understand.”

Shinra grins, and nods for Shizuo to continue. 

“We... when we... Shit. Um, well, when we, uh, k-kiss, we are somehow switching bodies?”

Shinra’s grin turns to confusion, “Wait, what?”

Izaya decides to ignore his embarrassment, and tease Shizuo instead. It should work best to distract Shinra. “Aw, it’s nothing to be so embarrassed about, Shizu-chan~. It’s just a little kiss.”

“Haha! You’re one to talk, Izaya! Your face is just as red!”

_ SHINRA YOU ARE NOT HELPING. _

“Whatever! Look, can we just talk about this somewhere else? We’re in the middle of a hallway at school. I don’t want anyone hearing this,” Shizuo buts in. 

Shinra is still smirking at them, and Izaya is still trying to kill him with a death glare. It’s not working very well. 

“Yeah, sure. We can go back to my house, and you guys can tell me all your juicy secrets~.”

Shinra, _why_ would you word it like that?

But Izaya agrees, if just to diffuse the entire situation. 

Can’t wait for this conversation later, though. 

Izaya wasn’t... particularly fond of kissing his best friend. 

But he couldn’t see any other way to convince Shinra that something supernatural was going on here, and that, _no_, he and Shizuo aren’t doing The Thing, Shinra, stop wiggling your eyebrows. 

Besides that, Izaya knew full well Shizuo wasn’t gonna _dare_ kiss Shinra, just on the creepy factor alone. Plus, who knows what weird tests Shinra would do if he had free reign over Shizuo’s body?

“Oh, wow! This is really freaky!”

“Shinra your eyesight is just... _awful_!” Izaya never realized how hopeless Shinra would be without his glasses. He’d probably confuse a president with a moldy orange without them. 

“Hmm, we should run some tests! You don’t mind, right Izaya?” And Shinra scampers off. 

_ Yes, I do mind_. Izaya sighs, and flops onto the couch. This is the worst. 

The door to the apartment opens, and the Black Rider walks into her home, waving at Shizuo as she toes her shoes off. 

“Celtyyyy! Welcome home!” Shinra comes racing to the living room. 

Celty flinches back in shock, quickly typing on her PDA. 

[Ummm... Hello to you too, Izaya.]  
[Whats with the greeting?]  
Oh dammit, they forgot they were switched. 

“Whaaat? I’m not Izaya! You mean to tell me you don’t recognize your true lov-ack! Even when he’s-ugh- in another body!”

Celty started punching him mid-sentence. 

“Shinra stop it! That my stomach she’s punching!” Izaya gets up, pulling Shinra away. 

“Aw, you’ll be fine...”

Celty had stopped listening to their back and forth. Honestly? She wouldn’t have noticed if Iza- er, _Shinra_ hadn’t pointed it out. However, as she watches them, she can somewhat sense the difference. 

[Okay, shush!]  
[Let me get this straight: Izaya is Shinra, and Shinra is Izaya right now?]  
Shinra beams, “Yep! I’m so glad, I knew you’d know it was me-“

And with that, Celty promptly turns around, puts her shoes back on, and leaves the apartment. _Nope, I am not dealing with that today. _

As Shinra pouts, Izaya takes the initiative, and kisses him again, planting themselves back into their original bodies. 

He flops onto the couch again, deep in thought, and ignoring Shinra’s chattering.

He... didn’t like how Shinra... _felt_. With Shizuo, all Izaya really felt was a general frustration and irritable attitude at basically everything. 

As Shinra? He was almost overwhelmed with the desire to throw himself at Celty’s feet and worship her.

He could barely stop staring at the woman! A disturbing possessive feeling grew in his gut when he saw his own body talking to her.

He got jealous when she punched Shinra, why wouldn’t she punch him instead?!

Izaya knew he was in trouble if they didn’t switch back, fast. He hates to admit it, but he’d rather switch with Shizuo. It’s actually easier to fight rage and a nicotine addiction, than it was to fight Shinra’s innate perverted nature. 

God, if this day could just end already. 

Izaya glances at the wall clock, and sees his ticket out. 

“Alright, so gotta pick up the twins. See you, Shinra.” He hopes he wasn’t obviously rushing out. 

“Izaya! Wait a sec-“

He closes the door on Shinra’s voice, and darts down the stairs. 

For once, he can’t wait to babysit the girls. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shinra knows allllllll about izaya’s little crush on shizuo~~~

**Author's Note:**

> the scratches on izzys hands? from his knife he’s known to fiddle and play with it, so i imagined early on he would’ve cut himself a lot by accident


End file.
